Talk, Pray & Life: Moving On~

Hmmh..*sigh* why do i got here? I thought i only gonna spend a moment to take a glimpse on my FB and then go offline. But looks like i'm stuck here anywhere..Blame to all these stuffs that messing around in my head! Geez, i didn't know clearly why would this kind of thing bother me..

OK, last night i had this weird dream about my crush..but it's not like i still have some kind of special feeling left and still lingering in my heart! Which makes me a lil bit confused why on earth i dream bout that guy? It's maybe because i did mentioned his name earlier this week?well, maybe..But why not he appears the night i mentioned him but several days after that?

That day, me and my friend had this conversation bout love-thingy and suddenly i recalled back all those past memories and bout my this one guy too..though we never go on a date or confront each other but only using phone to texting each other

He indeed, WAS my crush!

Full credit to this image.

Let me recall that day..He was one of the facilitator during our orientation week. At first, i only look him as my senior, not more..As the days passed by, only then (even i found it's weird anywhere) somehow i look at him differently..It's not like he did all the talk that time, but why...WHY did i actually fall for that guy?How could i know it..it's just happened in a blink of eyes ~.~

With my friends know bout d feeling i had for him, so they always alerting me when they saw him..haha, it's quiet funny to think about, but that time i would be in this panic mode on how do i look that time and act cool whenever i crossed or bumped into him~once we passed each other, only then i got all that excited with my friend a.ka. my roomate and tutorialmate too that time Lol

Then my friend asked me why wouldn't i just confess to him?

How could I do that? Since he was actually already in a relationship that time..So, never on life will i do anything that gonna ruin people relationship. Even how bad his partner will be..I just cannot let myself do that kind of thing since i know CLEARLY how it's gonna hurt the other party and what it feels like when your loved one being snatch away by other..Furthermore, i am a girl too..How can i do that to other girl right..so it's just happened like that..Yes, we did texting each other that time, but it's never occurred in me to snatch him..Maybe it still a wrong act to text somebody boyfriend, but i never treat that moment as special as it is and NEVER ever have d thought to steal him away. If not, i will just confess to him already..and all the sms only happened without me expecting that it's would last than i ever thought. it too, only started when i gave him some sort of motivation text i believe..Well, like i said, it's solely a SENIOR-JUNIOR relationship-type!

As i talked to my friend then i got this thought, did i, somehow..perhaps was d cause of this guy had this one argument with his girlfriend back then? Well, it was bit weird but i managed to get this info bout this guy love life that time..

As one day, my roomate's friend came to our dorm to gossiping and guess what? She actually mentioned this guy name and told us bout this couple issue..where it's about he broke his sim-card..and guess what? I forgot when, but it was quiet a time when i actually lost contact with him..But seriously, i never thought of this matter seriously..not until early this week for sure!! OMG, i hope it's only myself being overthinking..Yeah, surely it's gotta nothing to do bout me! (just ~.~ ouwhhhh if it were, then sorry..it was unintentional!!)

To hold that feeling firmly..though i realized that there's no where we can be together..(but what else can i do that time since my heart won't open up to others)..So i comforted myself, "Nevermind..somehow this feeling will gone someday..It's maybe hard right now, but it's better to just stay like this..cos one day i will surely never regret this."

Full credit to this image.

Guess what..Yeap, i never REGRET it though i never told him what i felt toward him that time..Since i once asked God (once he graduated from there), if he really meant for me, then we will somehow meet again..That one year after never meet him again, i spent my time without open up my heart to other guy and secretly hope that i will meet him again..but seriously, after 2 years? Though i somehow found him on facebook, i realized that there's no feeling left anymore (at this point, my friend told me that my heart is so easy to waver..but i don't think so, cos i'm the one who makes my mind to stop thinking bout him and just let it go..cos deep down in my heart, i felt that he's not the one)..

I was actually closer enough to reveal that he once, was in my heart..but i let the chance slip just like that since i actually don't have the same feeling like i did 2 years ago..so what the use of me telling him that time right..a year after that, we completely never talk again..so i didn't know what dove me to remove him from my friend's list..but he's not the only one though..cos from 5++ to 283 people, that's the number of people left that i actually talk with..so only this day, when i tried to search his name..it won't came out..Oh, i got it! He actually BLOCK me..Did he mad on me for removing him? But maybe it's normal for people to block others who's "unfriend" them. Anywhere, that was only something happened in the past..LIFE, indeed..GOES ON and wait for no MAN!

Oh ini gambar Mr.Kael yang saya ambil kemarin...excited sebab saya bawa jalan and mengexplore rumah kazen saya..